Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night

All About Eve is one of those movies you always see the cover art for, or know who acted in it, or maybe even know a few lines but have no familiarity with the actual movie. Is that just me? Seems like a lot of classics are that way. To remedy that, I scroll through my TV schedule on the channels that air classic movies and copiously click my "record" button.

Because of past "assignments" for Classic Movie Monday I've taken to keeping a sheet of paper next to me when I watch them so I can write down the lines that amuse me most. This wasn't one of those assignments but it never hurts to be prepared. ;)

I don't know what I expected this movie to be about but it wasn't this.

I seem to say that a lot about the classics.

The movie actually starts at the end, narrated by "Addison DeWitt" (played by George Sanders. Or if you're a perpetual child like myself, the guy who did the voice of Shere Khan in The Jungle Book).

 Meet Addison DeWitt. Snark and creep extraordinaire.

 We're in the middle of an awards show and he tells us "Minor awards are for such as writer and director since their function is merely to construct a tower so that the world can applaud a light which flashes from the top."

Dang.

We see this woman receiving an award while several audience members look...uncomfortable or smug depending on who they were.

Don't I look so benevolent?

That would be Eve. Then we have to backtrack to how we got here in the first place.

Eve, a rabid fan of Margo (Bette Davis) goes to every showing of her play and finally plots a way to meet her. She's so sweet and tells such a sad tale Margo and entourage are quite taken in and they wrangle her a job with Margo. It isn't long before her obsequious ways get on Margo's nerves and she lashes out, not wanting her around. Of course everything thinks Margo is being a horrible person, but it turns out....

SPOILERS :)


Eve has been scheming the entire time to become Margo - replace her and become famous herself. Her sob story? Lies. But by this time there's little for Margo to do - she's an aging actress and here's the new version taking over her life. Creeptastic. Also Addison DeWitt has a schemey sort of hand in this and you really hate him. However, the end - oh ho ho. Loved.

End spoilers.

There are a lot of great lines in this movie. Or maybe new movies are just such tripe that everything from a classic sounds amazing. Either way...
"I'll admit I may have seen better days but I'm still not to be had for the price of a cocktail...like a salted peanut."
Ha.

Marilyn Monroe has a bit part in this movie and she plays a (surprise!) vapid glamor hound.

She did have one of my favorite lines though. A woman walks by this stairway group with a sable wrap. Marilyn's character says, "Now there's something a girl could make sacrifices for...sable."
Deaf man with cigarette says, "Sable? Did she say sable or Gable?"
Marilyn (I should learn her character's name) retorts, "Either one."

Even Marilyn loves me.

Despite the witty snark and glamorous actress lifestyle I found this movie to be a little depressing. I'm also wondering why - what seems somewhat early to me in the history of film - so many actresses were deemed "old" and  phased out (see also my post on Sunset Blvd.).

I doubt I'll be watching it again, but it was absolutely worth watching once.

Classic Movie Monday - Easter Parade

I was almost stymied when this assignment for CMM came up and I couldn't find this movie online. And then I realized oh duh...I bet TCM is going to be airing it! And I was right, and thank you DVR for not making me get up at 6:00 AM to watch it. :)

I saw this movie a few years back when it was loaned to me by a student who learned I hadn't seen it yet and knew I must. For some reason I wasn't that excited to watch it and after seeing it can't figure out what I was thinking. But I think a lot of people feel that way about the classics and let me tell you - a lot of these movies are going to be much better than you might think! This movie is actually pretty funny. Like in a part of the opening scene where Fred Astaire's character Don Hewes cons this poor kid out of his stuffed rabbit with an elaborate dancing and drum scene.

The bunny, a hat and a huge bouquet are all going to his dance partner/girlfriend Nadine, played by the gorgeous Ann Miller. Tell me you don't love her lighter in front, darker in back hair? She basically shoots down poor Don and tells him she's breaking up the act and everything else. Don leaves in a huff but she doesn't seem at all put out when friend Johnnie (Peter Lawford) comes by. Hello, gorgeous.

Poor Johnnie realizes Nadine only wants him for his money and ditches her. Plus he's friends with Don so that would just be awkward, now wouldn't it? 

Johnnie finds Don at a bar trying to drown his sorrows. He holds up a glass of booze and asks the bartender, "Can you drown a brunette in this?" Bartender says, "How tall is she?" "Five foot six." Bartender adds more booze. "Try that." Ha!

While there he claims in a Pygmalion reminiscent attitude that he could make any of those girls dancing in the background as good as Nadine. He randomly stares at Hannah Brown (Judy Garland) and decides on her telling her to meet him at dance hall for practice in the morning. It's a disaster and she hilariously explains her reasons for not knowing her left leg from her right - "I was left handed as a child and the doctor told my mother I might become a dangerous criminal!"

They make the best of things but their first performance is also a (hilarious) flop as well as a spoof on a dance Fred did with Ginger Rogers where part of her feathered costume broke off and floated in his face. Things go better when he decides to play to Hannah's talents (singing) instead of trying to make her into Nadine.

Then by chance of weather she meets this fella with an umbrella - hello again, gorgeous. He's instantly smitten but all she wants to do is run away. Seriously?

She eventually agrees to a date with him and they end up with this guy as their waiter and they have the best explanation of a salad ever made.

Oh yeah and she tells poor Johnnie she's in love with Don. This guy is gorgeous, sweet, understanding to a fault, smart (almost finished with law school and then going to medical school) and rich....why are we supposed to be in love with Fred Astaire in this movie??

Because he's an amazing dancer, that's why. This scene in particular is amazing.

 

Ann Miller still looks fabulous even when you kinda hate her character for being such a snob and for making Don and Hannah's lives a bit miserable. Though when I see these gloves and feel like I should be doing the dishes.

And how do they get back at her? By dressing up as dirty hobos. Yeah...that'll show her...

This scene actually reminded me quite a bit of a scene from The Pirate* with Judy Garland and Gene Kelly.

And what's with the Easter Parade title? The dress-fabulous-and-get-your-photo-taken-people-parade is what opens and closes the movie and...that's about it. But I defy you not to have that song stuck in your head forever. I was still singing it while walking my trash outside.

Would I recommend Easter Parade? Absolutely. Funny and entertaining with some great dancing and a fun love triangle story that is still quite relevant. And while we're on the topic of Fred Astaire I'm loving this song by Emma Wallace that this particular youtuber always puts perfectly to movie clips.

*A movie called The Pirate you KNOW I had to watch and I did just last week! Apparently Easter Parade was supposed to reunite Judy Garland and Gene Kelly after The Pirate but Gene had a broken ankle and couldn't perform. Although if you want to see Gene Kelly do a pole dance and then later wear Daisy Dukes shorts showing off some amazing thigh muscles then definitely check out The Pirate. Also that scene I previously mentioned that seemed so familiar was basically a copy of "Make 'Em Laugh" from Singin' In the Rain. And total confusion where everything is the same ensues.

Classic Movie Monday - Sunset Blvd.

I was interrupted approximately eleventy billion times while trying to watch this but I finally made it and was so glad I did - it was amazing.

I watched this online and did all my own screencaps and...kinda went crazy with them because there were so many great scenes.

Warning - there's a dead guy in the pool. But I thought this shot was awesome, and so did Missie because she used it too. ;)

"Poor dope always wanted a pool."

Joe is a script writer in Hollywood who is down on his luck and trying unsuccessfully to either get a job or get someone to loan him some money. He blows a tire dodging some repo men and pulls into the garage of a dilapidated mansion. He likens it to Miss Havisham's home from Great Expectations and it has that same what mess am I getting myself into? sort of feel. Especially shown below when the butler tells him as he ascends the stairs, "If you need any help with the coffin, let me know." I love the look on Joe's face.

Oh and the coffin is for THIS. And yes I screamed a bit. I really do not like chimps or apes and this? Just...no.

The home - and the dead chimp - belong to Norma, an aging diva from the silent films age. She is fantastically dramatic and weird and I took a bunch of screencaps of her looks and faces.

"Sat coiled up like a watch spring..."

"I am big. It's the pictures that got small."

"Kissing his cold, dead lips..."

Norma is obsessed with two things: being a star and being adored. While Joe is the main character and narrates the story, she really takes over the story, just as she takes over his life.

"Don't they know what a star looks like any more?"

Norma likes Joe and decides to keep him. I mean that in all senses of the word. Joe doesn't really like being a kept man but doesn't really know what else to do with himself. He lives in a mansion with a pool, tennis court, bowling alley, movie theater, ballroom, etc. and gets a closet full of fancy suits.

"DeMille said I was his greatest star..."

"Of course you didn't, I wouldn't let you."  

Right about here is where things go from strange to way off the deep end. 

I really loved the use of mirrors in this film.

"That's a lie they still want me!"

"You heard him...I'm a star..."

Joe unintentionally starts a little something on the side...

Which upsets Norma considerably. She's incredibly unstable anyway but this really sent her over the edge.

I loved the way this scene was shot with half the man's face in shadow. Not only perfect for the creepy revelation given here but truly he'd become half the man he was.

 

This film is gloriously creepy and really won me over with that bit of Toccata and Fugue on the pipe organ. If you get a chance to watch this, absolutely do.

I found this Sunset Blvd in 5 Minutes video that I thought was pretty funny. Spoiler warning though - it gives you the whole plot.